It is very simple to get married. The hard part is remaining happily married. At the beginning, passion will rule the day. Eventually that passion will subside, and you will be faced with the reality of two people who barely know each other outside of the bedroom. So, before you get married I have a little advice that could save you a multitude of sorrows.
Woman, never choose a man who is not a faithful Christian. A man who is faithful to God will be faithful to you. Man, never choose a woman who is not a faithful Christian. A woman who will submit to God will submit to you.
True love is something that begins with infatuation, then comes deep seeded friendship, and eventually comes romantic feelings. Never marry just for sexual needs. Marriage is so much more than sex.
You will take vows the day you wed. These promises are not to be taken lightly. You will vow to have and to hold, forsaking all others, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, till death do you part. Yes, marriage is for a lifetime. Unlike what you will hear from the world, there is only one reason why a man may divorce his wife and remarry and that is for fornication (sex with someone who is not your husband or wife). (Matt 5:32 cf; 19:9). Other than death itself, there are no other reasons a man may be married to another. Therefore, before you take the plunge into marriage, make sure they are the only one for you for the rest of your life.
Does your eventual life partner have the capacity to forgive? If not, you are getting involved with someone who is not ready for marriage. Marriage is nothing more than two lives that are blended into one. Both of you are going to make many mistakes along the way. Therefore, a forgiving heart is a must.
Will he need you when the flower of your age has faded? Will your potential mate be happy with you should you get deathly ill and they have to care for you day and night? Will she remain with you if you lose your job and become penniless?
Long before you get married, children need to be discussed. Parents need to be on the same page long before children are brought into the world. You need to discuss how children will be trained, disciplined, and encouraged.
Get to know your eventual in-laws and learn to love them even as you do your wife or husband. The old saying, “The apple don’t fall far from the tree” is still true today. If you see bad things in your in-laws, most likely you will one day discover the same bad things in your spouse.
Discuss sexual matters before you get married as opposed to having premarital sex (fornication), and keep such discussions throughout your marriage. Your partner may or may not have the same sexual urges as you do and they need to be made known before you say ‘I do’. Once you are married, discus with your partner how you may please them. This kind of language between a husband and wife is not filthy, but rather is needful for both of you to grow and be satisfied with one another.
As you grow older, such sexual needs will change and often diminish over time. This is why you need to get to know your spouse inside and out. Never get married unless they are also your best friend. They should be someone you can talk to about anything. They should be someone you not only love, but someone you also like as a person. This is imperative, because one day long into the future, once the passion has long faded, your spouse’s personality will be the foundation of your relationship. Therefore, make sure you have things in common you like to do together.
Lastly, a family that prays together will stay together. Do not be unequally yoked. Don’t marry someone who has a denominational faith. If and when you do have children, they will be divided between God’s church and the church of Satan. Even without children, a divided house will soon fall.
Yes, you will have problems in marriage which you cannot plan. Some will be about finances, some will be sexual, and some will be about children. No matter what problems which may arise, if you are well versed in God’s Word and are obedient to the gospel and doctrine of Christ, you will overcome them by the grace of God.